Taking A Bite From The App-le Of Knowledge; How My Period Tracker Has Enlightened Me (And Can Enligh
- Hannah Markus
- Mar 8, 2017
- 3 min read
Having spent the last 20 months using the implant as my contraception of choice, I have been one of the lucky users to get no periods at all whilst on it. Total sexual and underwear freedom at all times – what bliss. But every rose has its thorn, and the thorn attached to the rose that was the tiny hormonal device embedded in my left arm stabbed me in the form a stone’s worth of weight gain and hormonal mood swings that had me screaming at my flatmate whenever we couldn’t decide what to eat for dinner.
I eventually decided to get the implant taken out, and thus went about preparing myself for the inevitable red storm that was a-brewing inside of my body. I ordered a menstrual cup, I dug out my old massive period pants, and I downloaded the app ‘Eve’. Eve by Glow describes itself as a period tracker and “savvy health and sex app for women who want to take control of their sex lives”. But oh my god it’s so much more than that. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a religion. I signed up for Eve, and, after establishing my cycle dates, it asked me to log my emotions for the day, if I’d ‘gotten any’ (options range from ‘all me ;)’ and ‘makeout sesh’, to ‘banana free’ and, ‘with’ or ‘without a condom’, as well as being able to rate the experience from ‘mindblowing’ to ‘ehh’, and state whether or not you orgasmed), and to describe my symptoms and flow. The log is to be completed daily and the idea is to help you recognise patterns in your cycle and hopefully to help you deal with it better.
Eve isn’t just about the periods though. Oh no. It’s a whole online community. There are forums where users can talk about any subject imaginable. There’s a thread where women give each other blow job tips. There’s one where you can discuss being an ‘anal only’ girl (until you get married, obviously). You can post a selfie and girls will comment which celebrity they think you look like, as well as exclamations of “Omg ur soo beautiful!” and “I love your eyeliner!” There are threads for trans men who find it difficult dealing with having a period as a man, and threads for young girls who simply have questions about their changing bodies, how they should approach boys they have crushes on, and their burgeoning sexualities. It has recommendations for female-friendly porn websites, as well as relationship and pregnancy advice. I became particularly enthralled with a thread giving ideas for pubic hairstyles.
If you want a one-stop shop for all your online lady needs, Eve is the place to go. Cue Stefon from SNL’s ‘Weekend Update’ voice: This app has everything! Gals being supportive of other gals, sex tips, trans-inclusivity. It even has human tampons! (You know, it’s that thing, where you wrap a midget in cotton wool and shove it up your vagina…)
It’s the kind of resource I wish I’d had whilst I was going through puberty and becoming sexually active. It’s personal and yet anonymous enough that people feel comfortable sharing and asking questions about things that they may not be comfortable discussing with parents, peers, workmates, or siblings. 15-year-old me didn’t want to ask my friends about masturbation because what if no one else did it?? 19-year-old me was uncomfortable discussing what I liked during sex not only with the boys I was having sex with, but with my friends too, not knowing that these conversations are vital to enhancing your experience. And 23-year-old me now has DOZENS of ideas as to styling my lady garden! You can be just as creative as with your head-hair, people! And now, even though my period is back with the force of a thousand suns, at least I get to discover a whole new world of lady talk.
So, from one gal to many other gals, if you do one thing for yourself this International Women’s Day, download Eve, ignore your IRL pals this evening, and discover all that the app has to offer!
Note: The Indifferent Times is not affiliated with Eve in any way, HM just found an app and wanted to gush about it on the internet.